Put the blame where it belongs - On the Perp, even it it reflects back onto us

           In “Why Doesn’t She Leave,” an article by Ann Jones (in: Next Time She'll Be Dead. Boston: Beacon Press. 1994), we are reminded of an old adage: history is written by the victor.  In our current American society, where research is conducted mainly by men, trials are overseen by mainly male judges, and policy is made by mainly men, it is absurd to imagine that we would have a concept of domestic violence that is unbiased, fair, or representative of a female perspective.

This becomes particularly clear when we examine the research that has been conducted in the area of domestic violence.  Not only is the language used in this research blatantly biased (See “The Language of Love,” Jones 1994) but the focus of the research itself is inexcusably skewed.

Most research conducted in the United States of America on the topic of domestic violence is centered on the victim (Jones 1994), as if figuring out what unites victims of domestic abuse will give us the key to stopping it.  This is an overt example of a misogynistic scientific research process which has extreme consequences for victims of domestic abuse including rape, torture and death.  What needs to stop is THE ABUSER’S VIOLENCE TOWARDS HIS VICTIM.  Stopping abuse cannot be achieved by changing the behavior of the victim.  This is MISSING THE POINT ENTIRELY and is victim-blaming in the simplest terms. 

The incidence of victim-blaming in current mainstream media can be easily explained by our consistent patterns of misogynistic research practices which place the blame on victims.  It can be seen everywhere, from politicians protesting a regulation that would require physicians to ask about domestic abuse in regular doctor’s visits, to high-profile abusers being given lighter sentences because the public is sympathetic to an athlete’s need to “get out his stress” by beating up his wife. 

It all links back to the fact that we as a culture refuse to place blame on the perpetrator because it leads to a recognition that we all participate in a society which normalizes a male mentality which leads to such violence.  In Kelly’s “Continuum of Sexual Violence” she examines the slew of sexualized violence which, legally and societally, is considered acceptable.  In a society that accepts “goosing” and “cat calls” as “funny,” it is often forgotten that, subconsciously, what women fear when these “commonplace bits of fun” occur is death itself. 

Liz Kelly (1987) uses a quote from Stanko (1985) in her “Continuum of sexualized violence” that emphasizes this point.  “In abstract we easily draw lines between those aberrant (thus harmful), and those typical (thus unharmful) types of male behavior.  We even label the aberrant behavior as potentially criminal behavior…Women who feel violated or intimidated by typical make behavior have no way of specifying how or why typical make behavior feels like aberrant male behavior” (p. 10).  Anu Bhagwati stated it even more simply, saying that instead of creating complex metaphor-based anti-rape ad campaigns, the message could consist of only two words.  DON’T RAPE. 

I’d like to see that ad campaign, and others like it.  No matter how uncomfortable it is for society at large and people in power to accept responsibility for domestic abuse, it certainly can’t be as uncomfortable as the abuse suffered by millions of Americans every day.

Ann Jones'  "Why doesn't she leave?" In: Next Time She'll Be Dead. Boston: Beacon Press. 1994.

Kelly, L. “The Continuum of Sexual Violence.” In: Women, Violence and Social Control, edited by Hanmer, J., and Maynard, M. Atlantic Highlands: Humanities International Press: 46-60. 1987.